bad week

so basically this week, i got into huge trouble TWICE with school authorities [i'm not gonna go in detail but ask me about it and i'll explain] and i was in a pretty bad mood the whole week. and today, in religion, my teacher saw that i wasn't my normal happy self [i sit in the front]. and while we were doing busy work, he quietly knelt beside me and asked, "You're having a tough day aren't you?" and i nodded my head yes, and he gave me a chocolate and patted me on the shoulder. that made my week.



thats the chocolate he gave me.

sigh

broken promises. broken promises. broken promises.
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
its all the same thing... i wish i could go somewhere far far away... i need time alone, but on the bright side, i'm starting to talk to new peeps at school, making new friends, meeting new people, seems alright, but i still want to get to know my "old" people better. i always wonder if my circle of friends right now will still be my friends in the future.

i feel like i've gone astray since the beginning of the year... i think i've grown numb, meaner, and stupider. thats not good...

change

nice guys finish last

i love wong fu. haha well i've decided to change my style of blogging, because now that i think about it, i'm blogging all wrong, if thats possible. blogs are meant to tell people about your day and life, i tend to just write random things haha well... my life is getting back up? im just really tired right now and i'm sick, those are the two reasons why i'm dreading lock in. i know i'm gonna get like zero sleep and broomballing isn't gonna help me with my cold. oh well, gots to suck it up! other than that, i'm really looking forward to this 3 day weekend, just the fun and what not i'll hopefully have, and if not, just the sleep that i can catch up on. i don't want to go to school tomorrow, maybe i'll stay home, using sickness as an excuse, sigh i wish. well thats about all thats going on in my life about now... thanks for reading haha

tick tock

i say different things
i do different things
i think different things
but the outcome is always the same

after a hurricane, the sun comes up.
after a terrorist attack, the sun comes up.
after a genocide, the sun comes up.
after a death, the sun comes up.
even after the worst, the sun will come up.

finally

for the first time in weeks, i finally know what i'm gonna do. feels good, takes away the fear, the worry, the stress, the pain, and the anxiety. i can finally move on with my life

breathe

i'm a very loner-ish type of person, i've come to realize. i enjoy taking walks alone and just sitting on a patch of grass overlooking the valley, contemplating, meditating, and collecting my thoughts. the breeze flowing through my would-be hair, gently lapping against my bare scalp. theres something relaxing, revitilizing, and invigorationg about that alone time, that time where i just sit, and think. maybe i should major in philosophy or something, be paid to think. c'est la vie.

lemons

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.

what kind of idiot said that... when life gives you lemons, you throw it aside and look for something sweeter, like an apple, or a banana. but why is it that i keep trying to make lemonade out of my lemons when i don't have the ingredients. is it time for me to give up on my lemonade and look for something better, something not so bitter? but it feels like i'm trapped, in a lemon orchard, if thats possible, and no matter where i go, all i get are lemons. maybe, stupid thing to think, maybe, i'm just a lemon guy, maybe i was meant to be a lemon guy, or not. two pieces of the same puzzle should fit together, maybe i'm not a part of that puzzle. right now, it feels like i'm not part of any puzzle.

allergies, dilemmas, and bloody noses

so basically, today during 2nd period while watching the inauguration, i got a nasty nose bleed. so i went to the bathroom to take care of it when i saw that blood had gotten on my white polo. since i couldn't take it off, i was just walking around with blood stains on my shirt, like a little child, quite embarrassing. and then the whole day i was sneezing, had a runny nose, and my eyes were itchy/puffy. yeah.. sucks. and now i'm right where i began, scratching my head what the heck i'm supposed to do now. i hate the wind.

forgive me jesus

so yeah i'm kind of sneaking on breaking my fast but yeah... this teeny little blog entry can't hurt right? :P well... a lot has happened since my last entry, and i'm not going to go into detail. but basically, i didn't get a fresh start when the new year rolled around. but now, finally, i get my fresh start, so wish me luck as i kick of this new year!

2009

you can break my heart, you may take my friends
but as the new year starts, that has to end.

i have a good feeling about this year, lets hope it is

it

finally is beginning to feel like christmas!

retreat

well, this was probably my first winter retreat ever, and it was... different. not better, not worse, just different. the last night wasn't the usual cry, and pray session. i took a lot of time just thinking and sorting my thoughts. and i've reached a conclusion: God can be, and is, very punctual. sigh, i just have to keep reminding myself, that it really is going to be worth it. God loves me so much more than any human being can love, took me a while to really grasp this. God loves you :D

i'm

nothing special

sad christmas

hm... i just can't seem to get into the "christmas spirit" i don't know why. i think its a mixture of things from the economy crashing and the series of recent events, but never before did i ever have a problem of getting excited for christmas.. i'm a total mess, i can't concentrate or anything, i think i should start running and working out again if i'm gonna play football again. y'know football is real fun and stuff but i remember before every game i was scared stiff about getting hurt and stuff, but right now, i don't really care if it hurts. hm.. yeah thats it... oh and for all you who are reading this, probably not many, but uh go to www.myspace.com/wayneebraineee. christmas without you, thats just how i feel, what a coincidence..

first post

i'm getting back up now